Dear Friends,
One of my favorite ideas in Confucianism is that of the rectification of names.
At its core, this philosophy argues that when words reflect reality, there is harmony in society. When words stray from reality then society begins to crumble. Taking this one step further, we may commonly use words or phrases that reflect an already disharmonious society; words that renounce what is right and just. If we wish to bring harmony back to our culture, then we must first revise our language.
Therefore, we as both participants in and creators of society, are responsible for the words that we proliferate. While some merely view language as a descriptive tool (the map is not the territory after all,) Confucians and Legalists believe that the words we use actually shape our society.
So language, like markets, is reflexive.
In service of our culture and this philosophy, I am calling forward all of my friends, acquaintances, and myself to help erase a particularly unhealthy phrase from our vernacular.
You may have already guessed based on the title of this essay, but the phrase is…
“Can I pick your brain?”
I invite you to close your eyes for a second and imagine someone physically picking your best friend or spouse’s brain - does this feel pleasing to you? Or does it cause you pain?
I despise this phrase. so I do my best to correct anyone who comes to me using it. Why? Because it is a reflection of a reality that is entirely extractive in nature. You are asking to use someone, farming them for ideas with little consideration for their needs. It is a self-centered phrase that, in my opinion, opposes meaningful connection.
I believe that when we converse, it should always be a two-way street. While in some situations, one party may be more informed on a certain subject, the other always has something to contribute. Generally, good conversation is a collaborative experience in which we build on each other’s ideas, rather than simply draining one another.
I do not blame people who use this phrase, because somehow it is ingrained in our culture. So, if I’ve ever corrected you for saying this, or if you used this phrase recently and feel attacked, know that it is nothing personal.
This question is likely just representative of the way that our current systems treat human interaction - extract, exploit, and throw away. My qualm is with the words themselves, not the carriers of the message.
I know this essay may read like the rant of a neurotic man with too much time on his hands, but know that I only write this in order to contribute to the betterment of our collective interaction through the absolute annhilation of this question, and if you agree with me, please spread the word!
For those of you who are asking, “What can we say instead?”, here are a few options to consider:
“Can you point me to any resources on [x]?”;
“I’ve been researching [x] and know you work in that industry, do you have time to share some of what you’ve learned with me?”
“Do you have time to help me better understand [insert a specific question that shows this person you have already done your homework]
Anyways, I’m always happy to help those earnestly in search of knowledge and support. I just think the language we use goes a long way in creating a better outcome, and potentially (at least according to Confucius), a more harmonious society.
What I’m Reading
Ideas
Thorstein Veblen’s Theory of the Leisure Class—A Status Update, Rob Henderson (Though I wonder if this essay is, in itself, a luxury belief)
Markets
The $1.2 Trillion Plan to Save America’s Infrastructure
Wholesale Prices Rise 8.6% Year of Year in October, tied for highest ever, CNBC
Bitcoin Exposes Our Current Crisis Moment, Peter Thiel Speech (ZeroHedge)
Metaverse, NFTs, Web3 Social & DAOs
Web3 Will Not Be Built on Smart Contracts, DeSo
Art Blocks and Why it Is Cool by Ivan Rys aka Besit
How to Build an Open Metaverse, Punk 6529
Crypto
On America and Crypto, Punk6529
4% of Americans Say They Have Quit Their Jobs Thanks to Their Crypto Gains (hint: don’t do this, unless you’re doing it to work in crypto)
The Helium Flywheel, Multicoin Capital
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