“Seek first to understand” - Stephen Covey
At a gathering this weekend I struck up a conversation with a woman. It started with the normal small talk until we meandered away from the safe path of meaningless banter, only to find ourselves entangled in the thick, thorny bush of US politics.
I don’t know how we got there, but after a few minutes, I learned that:
She believes that the election was rigged and stolen from Trump
She believes this and COVID are part of an elitist conspiracy to control the population
And she’s not alone - polling shows over 50% of Republicans agree with her take on the election. If you’re reading this newsletter, it’s possible that you do too.
I don’t. I believe the election was fair and that Trump did everything in his power to try to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
In the past, I have written on my fear that the 2021 election would be dangerous. Had Biden won by a smaller margin, say 1 state, or only a few hundred thousand votes, I think the current situation would be untenable. But all of the information I read points to an overwhelming victory for Biden. The popular vote and electoral vote were clear cut, and all of Trump’s attempts at leveraging the judicial system failed. Our political system survived…for now.
Though many of you might agree with me, this post is not about whether I’m right or wrong. The current state of our reality is such that there’s little chance that any of us will alter our perception of these events.
So what happens when two people at a party discover that they hold dramatically opposed political (and possibly ideological) beliefs ?
You might expect that I held my tongue - the easy way out is to hide my beliefs, to move onto a different subject, or try to slide out of the situation and enjoy the party. I might have also escalated to anger - we could have engaged in a “he says / she says” battle, drawing from a laundry list of articles, regurgitating quotes and statistics that confirm both of our beliefs. That might have felt good, but both of us would likely still disagreee and be worse off for the conversation.
I believe we have reached the point of fractured reality that leveraging intellectual arguments to try to “convince” the other is no longer useful.
However, I still decided it was worthwhile to engage. I wanted to see if we could find common ground - what did we both want for our country, for our families? Could we bridge the divide in other ways?
I shared that while I did not agree with her take, I was curious to better understand it.
We spoke for a long while and the conversation ended amicably. Neither of us was able to evangelize the other to our cause, but I think we tapped into something important - our shared humanity.
I was disturbed to learn that tomorrow, on Inauguration Day, her father would be leading a militia from her home town to the state capitol in Arizona in protest. I wondered out loud, what his end game was. I am certain that her father believes himself to be a patriot, standing up in defense of liberty. There are millions like him - armed protests are expected in every state capitol tomorrow. These protestors may feel they have no recourse to defend their democracy besides violence.
This is why I worry for our country and the implications that this pandemic, this tumultuous last year, our massive economic and political divide, and this brutal election will have on us all. At times, I feel overwhelmed, and it is easy for me to fall into despair - I prefer not to think about it.
We’ve moved beyond the space of “right” and “wrong” - all that matters now is peace. It is the time to build bridges, not to burn more down.
If you find yourself asking “How can this person support Trump?” Or, “how can my friend believe that lockdowns make sense?” The best thing you can do is to actually ask them, and then genuinely listen.
I think you’ll find that you have more in common than not.
While we can’t control the events that will unfold on the national or global stage; we can control the local. We can seek to understand - every conversation is an opportunity.
OK, maybe this post is a not-so-subtle virtue signal, and maybe my little conversation will ultimately prove meaningless. But I don’t see another way forward.
When I imagine millions of respectful, interested, cross aisle conversations, I grow optimistic about the future of our nation. It’s empowering to know we can all play our part in this small way.
Today I pray for a peaceful transition of power. I pray for our country and our future.
Whether you agree with me or not, if you want to talk about it, I’m here.
Until next week,
Marc
This Week’s Podcast: Revisiting How to Handle Overwhelm
After a long hiatus for the holiday season, I’ll kick off new episodes of the podcast next week with Arif Khan, the founder and CEO of Alethea.ai .
In the meantime, this week feels like the right time to revisit this solo episode I recorded to help think about managing overwhelm in the face of global uncertainty and fear.
What I’m Reading
Ideas
Inviting Wharton’s Leadership in a Time of Transition, Andrew Dunn
Exodus and American Nationhood, Leon Kass
Markets
Peter Thiel’s Investing Secrets
Startups & Technology
Internet 3.0 and The Beginning of (Tech) History
Jack Dorsey’s Thread on Deplatforming President Trump
Crypto
A Thread on NFTs by Zora Founder
CREAM’s New Iron Bank, Thread by Kyle Samani
A Beginner’s Guide to DeFi, Linda Xie
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