I did not know Tony Hsieh, but some of you may have. Since his death on November 27th, the outpouring of love for him has served to highlight the strength of his character. It is clear this was a man who valued himself based on his service to others. Thousands have eulogized his kindness, empathy, intelligence, and willingness to support those when they needed him the most.
At age 46, he was taken too young, and we’ll never know what more he’d have brought to this world.
Since I did not know him personally, I do not mean to assume anything about the accuracy of this Forbes cover story, which describes his final months as “tragic.” I’ve seen first hand how media loves to create its heroes and villains, and there is no story more appealing than that of the tragic hero.
Yet, if there is any truth to this, then in his final months, Tony was struggling with severe mental health challenges. Though this may come as a surprise to those who knew him or who connected to his work - exceptional people are not immune to these challenges. Based strictly on the numbers, it is actually not surprising at all.
Today, one in four Americans (an estimated 60M people) suffers from a diagnosable mental health disorder. With those odds, it’s highly likely that you or someone you love struggles with depression or anxiety.
While it may be disheartening to see such staggering mental health statistics, it can also serve as a reminder that these “disorders” are normal - this knowledge alone might help you through a hard time.
So I write today, as I have done before, to remind you that if you are suffering, you are not alone.
In the second arrow parable, Buddha taught that the damage we do to ourselves is often worse than the original cause of our pain. For many, a symptom of depression is the mental self-mutilation that comes along with it. Many of us tend to destroy ourselves in our minds simply for feeling the way that we do.
Perhaps it is the word disorder that is really the issue here. What if these feelings were actually part of the order of all things? The sadness, the angst, the self-hate - these may simply come with the package of what it means to be human.
If we strictly seek to exorcise the darkness, we play into the external expectation that we should feel differently, and this fantasy actually draws us further away from our light.
If the death of Tony Hsieh reminds me of one thing, it is that there is no light without darkness, regardless of how bright it shines. This is nature - we are all complete.
This statement is nuanced. I am not calling for bypass or downplaying the seriousness of depression - it is very real. You do not have to sit alone with your struggles or force yourself to accept them. You should not ignore a loved one who is close to the edge.
But at the very least, the knowledge that we are not alone can lift the stigma of mental health disorders - it can bring them further into the light. And in the light, we can be met with with compassion and find a way to ease our collective suffering, so that men like Tony are no longer taken from us so young.
This Week’s Podcast:
Scaling Empathy Part II with Paul Chen, Cofounder of Flourish Tech & Dr. Karen Yeh, Psy D
“What is empathy? It’s really being able to join the person; to walk a mile in their shoes.”
In this second part of my conversation with my friend Paul Chen, founder of Flourish Tech and Dr. Karen Yeh, we discuss how scaling empathy training through technology might offer one solution for us to address our mental health crisis.
I’m encouraged by the many new companies launching focused entirely on our emotional and mental wellbeing. If you’re building in this space, please contact me!
What I’m Reading
Ideas
Tony Hsieh’s American Tragedy: The Self-Destructive Last Months of the Zappos Visionary, Time
Markets
The Wages of Fear, Convexity Maven by Harley Bassman
Bitcoin Investment Cases (Compilation of the best write-ups on “Why Bitcoin?”)
The 2021 Liquidity Supernova, Zero Hedge
Startups & Technology
Times are Changing, Lane Rettig
From LVMH to Ledger, Ian C Rogers
Crypto
How Axie Infinity Became a Living for Some Players, Ian Enanoria
Bitcoin is (still) a Demographic Mega-trend: Data Update, Spencer Bogart
A Thread on Empty Set Dollar, Andrew Kang
Tutorial Island for DAOs, Peter Pan
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